Today, the exhausted mother is considered normal. That's not normal.
I accompany pregnant women through matrescence, the time when the body, brain and identity reshape themselves, on the way to a self-determined pregnancy and birth. You learn to make informed decisions for yourself and your child, so that later you won't have to ask yourself: Why did nobody tell me this?
"I didn't prepare the birth. I prepared the woman who experiences it."
How you move through this time shapes more than just you.
When nobody explains to you what is reshaping inside you, you simply keep functioning. Many women only realise late that, in the process, they lost themselves.
And that is exactly what later shapes your child too. Not because you are doing anything wrong, but because a child senses the mother through whom it comes into the world.
The goal is not the perfect birth. The goal is a mother who is present with herself, who unfolds her potential, and who can be there when her child needs her.
You know what you took on from your mother. You now decide what your child takes on from you. What you don't resolve in this time, your child resolves later for you.
You are well informed. And yet this quiet feeling remains, that something is missing.
Does everyone tell you something different, and you no longer know what's true?
Are you just functioning right now?
Do you want the best for your child, and see overwhelmed mothers everywhere?
Does something inside you feel different from what everyone says, and you don't dare say it out loud?
Are you afraid of birth because you mostly hear distressing stories?
Did you nod at one of these questions? That doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. It means nobody has explained to you what is happening inside you right now.
From guided from outside, to anchored within.
I read a lot, but I don't feel any clearer.
I know what options I have.
I'm afraid of missing something important.
I understand the weight of my decisions.
I follow what everyone recommends, even when something feels off.
I trust my inner voice, in addition to outside information.
I go along without really understanding what I'm deciding.
I go into birth with clarity, not with fear.
I'm afraid of the pain and of being at the mercy of birth.
I trust my body and the power of femininity.
I see birth mainly as something I have to get through.
I know my child comes into the world through a mother who is in trust.
I hope that after the birth I'll intuitively know what my child needs.
I know what my child really needs after birth and how I can nourish them.
The postpartum period will just happen to me, and I hope it goes well.
I know what matters in the postpartum period for me and my child, and how to regulate myself.
I sense something is changing in our relationship, and we don't talk about it.
I can handle the changes our relationship is going through now.
Your brain reorganises itself. That's measurable. And it stays.
About puberty, someone told you it was normal. About matrescence, nobody tells you that. Here are six things research has shown for a long time, and what they mean for you.
Your brain changes measurably during pregnancy.
The change was still detectable two years after birth, and in follow-up studies, up to six years. This is not a loss. It's the reason you can read your child before they can speak.
Hoekzema, E. et al. (2016), Nature Neuroscience · Martínez-García, M. et al. (2021), Brain Sciences
Matrescence is its own developmental phase, comparable to puberty.
It begins in pregnancy and lasts years, not weeks. Stop waiting to become the old you again. You come back to yourself, as the new one.
Term "matrescence": Dana Raphael (1973), brought back into current research by Aurélie Athan, Columbia University
Baby blues affects up to eight in ten mothers.
It starts around day three to five, when hormones drop over one to three days, and resolves on its own. You are not ungrateful. Your body is recalibrating.
Standard obstetric knowledge
Postpartum depression affects roughly one in seven mothers.
It can begin weeks to months after birth, doesn't resolve on its own, and is treatable. If you recognise this in yourself: it has a name, and help exists.
WHO · Verein Postpartale Depression Schweiz (Switzerland, roughly 15 percent)
What isn't processed in one generation keeps acting in the next.
Transmission through attachment, stress regulation and behaviour is documented. Epigenetic mechanisms in humans are being researched and are not yet conclusively established. What you face in this time, your child doesn't have to carry.
Yehuda, R. & Lehrner, A. (2018), World Psychiatry: Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects
In the first years of life, over a million neural connections form every second.
What is shaped above all is how a child handles stress, and that forms in the relationship with you. Not through enrichment, but through a mother who can regulate herself.
Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University · Shonkoff, J. & Phillips, D. (2000), From Neurons to Neighborhoods
Numbers give context, they don't warn. Everything here is education, not diagnosis, and not a substitute for your midwife or doctor.
12 weeks of group pregnancy accompaniment
A 12-week online accompaniment for pregnant women who want to consciously prepare for their matrescence. You go through this time together with other women experiencing the same thing, while still getting your own, personal plan. You learn early to recognise your needs, boundaries and patterns of functioning, gain orientation for birth and the postpartum period, and stay true to yourself along the way. The goal is not the "perfect mother", but a solid foundation for a self-determined pregnancy and birth.
Taking stock
Recognising your fears, expectations and existing patterns of functioning early.
Understanding matrescence
What changes internally, physically and in everyday life.
Clarifying needs & boundaries
Recognising your own needs, boundaries and support.
Self-determined decisions
Deciding well prepared around birth and the postpartum period.
Your personal plan
For the first period as a mother, organisationally and emotionally.
Optional additions
Everything else we discuss personally in the free first conversation, tailored entirely to you.
If you'd like to continue being accompanied after the birth, you can continue the accompaniment through your matrescence.
What we talk about over the 12 weeks.
No rigid curriculum. We go where you currently are: the following topics form the common thread through your pregnancy, birth and the time after.
Orientation & safety
Arriving in pregnancy: understanding what is happening inside you right now, and what really matters at this point.
Orientation & awareness
What happens in the first weeks, what's normal, hormones, identity, nervous system. Conscious rather than unconscious decisions: what matters now for the baby and what doesn't.
Making sense of check-ups
Ultrasound, organ screening, routine procedures: understanding the benefits, limits and alternatives, so you know what you're saying yes or no to.
Nervous system & regulation
Safety instead of constant stress: understanding overwhelm, regulating triggers, strengthening self-awareness.
Partnership & support
Communication with your partner, feminine and masculine energy, setting boundaries, and consciously choosing your network of midwife, doula, osteopathy or craniosacral therapy.
Pregnancy
Your body, your baby and everyday life in between, explained neutrally, without fear and without dogma.
Your body
Anatomy, hormones, emotions. Discomforts explained neutrally, perineal and breast preparation, prevention and support.
Your baby
Development, nervous system and sensory perception. Bonding, energetic connection and visualisations for the time before birth.
Nutrition
What your baby really needs, how to use carbohydrates sensibly, what's better avoided, and what supports you at the end of pregnancy.
Movement & bodywork
Keeping fascia supple rather than training hard. Movement without tension, yoga, meditation, body journeys, osteopathy and craniosacral therapy.
Birth, postpartum & baby
Prepared for birth, and held through the weeks after.
Nervous system for birth
Regulation, hormones, stress reduction, breathing and hypnosis, so your body can work instead of blocking.
Understanding birth
Uterine work, dilation, positions, hormones, hypnobirthing and breathing. Placenta, umbilical cord, perineum, and how your baby turns, breathes and responds.
Interventions & decision spaces
Heart tones, warning signs, routine baby checks: what's sensible, what's optional? Benefits, risks, and where your space for decisions lies.
Postpartum, breastfeeding & baby
Body, emotions and identity after birth. Breastfeeding and milk production, postpartum planning and visiting rules, recovery and pelvic floor. Bonding, co-regulation, babywearing, sleep, and what a baby really needs.
All of this is education and accompaniment, not medical treatment, and not a substitute for your midwife or doctor.
Two births. Two completely different women.
My first birth: in chaos, under emotional pressure, with a vacuum delivery and a perineal tear, with the feeling of being at the mercy of it all. Afterwards, a year and a half of exhaustion, the fight to breastfeed against every voice, a postnatal depression.
My second birth: consciously planned, self-determined, held. A home birth that healed. Not because the circumstances were perfect, but because this time I knew what I wanted, what options I had, and trusted my own voice.
Between these two experiences lies an intense engagement with self-determination, birth knowledge and the system, and the question: what should I have known earlier?
I don't speak as an expert from above. I speak as a woman who has lived the difference. This is accompanied by exchange with midwives, doctors and a postnatal art therapist.
I'm convinced that the origin of a human being is formative. I want to accompany mothers in a way that lets children come into the world with as much basic trust as possible, through a mother who is in trust, self-determination and inner calm.
Good to know
Who is this accompaniment for?
For pregnant women who want to consciously and self-determinedly prepare for their pregnancy and birth, whether it's a first pregnancy or after a difficult birth.
Does this replace my midwife or doctor?
No. I don't work against medicine or healthcare professionals. I help you make sense of their information, understand the consequences, and make your own decisions.
When can I start?
Ideally as early in pregnancy as possible, so the 12 weeks fit comfortably before the birth. Just get in touch, and we'll look together at whether the timing works.
Back to yourself.
You go into birth self-determined, unfold your potential, and are there when your child needs you. If you don't want to simply leave your pregnancy and birth, for you and your child, to chance: book your free first conversation. 30 minutes, no obligation, we look together at whether this accompaniment is right for you.